i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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