i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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