Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
