My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
