Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
