After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
