My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
