when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
