but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
