Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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