I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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