Can i not drive my cunt home
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
