Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
