I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
