I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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