She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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