We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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