Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
