Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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