Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize