whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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