last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
