we made out on top of his cat.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I touched a dick in church today
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
