Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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