Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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