You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me too!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
