I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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