Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
