Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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