The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
