am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had sex on a roof
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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