my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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