when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
