i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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