I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
