What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
