You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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