The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
