Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
