When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
