he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
