I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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