I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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