hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You are a genius and a whore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
