I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
