I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
