I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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