we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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