Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
