If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
