Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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