i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
