Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
