Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
wow bdsm is so cute
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