My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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